Amy Vaughan:
Hello, everyone, and welcome to our weekly Power Lounge. This is your place to hear authentic conversations from those who have power to share. My name is Amy Vaughan and I am the owner and Chief Empowerment Officer of Together Digital, a diverse and collaborative community of women who work in digital and choose to share their knowledge, power, and connections. You can join the movement at togetherindigital.com Today’s conversation is about something every one of us does, yet a few of us master, and that is turning our personal stories into powerful business tools. I am thrilled to welcome with us here today Monica Miller, author, content coach, and international speaker who has made it her mission to help professionals go from overlooked to unforgettable. Monica brings a unique framework to the table. We love our frameworks, don’t we, listeners? One that transforms heartfelt stories into magnetic messages that don’t just inspire, but actually convert. In a world where we are constantly told to share our story, Monica shows us exactly how to make those stories work for our business.
Amy Vaughan:
Whether we’re positioning it on social media, hosting a podcast like we are here Today or speaking on the stage. What sets Monica apart is her practical approach. It isn’t just about going viral or chasing trends. It’s about building trust, establishing authority, and turning listeners into loyal clients through the power of authentic self storytelling. Today, she’ll be sharing her signature storytelling framework, the three Nos. Giving you. Giving our community the tools and to transform any personal story into content that connects and converts. Welcome to the Power Lounge, Monica.
Amy Vaughan:
We’re thrilled to have you here with us.
Monica Miller:
Thanks for having me, Amy. I’m excited to be here.
Amy Vaughan:
Absolutely. Same. Yeah. Thrilled to have you here. All right, let’s just jump right in. I want to recognize and say hello, of course, as always, to our amazing live listening audience. We are here for you. I’ve got a number of questions here for Monica that we’re going to kind of go through in the next hour.
Amy Vaughan:
I would love it. If you have a question, please drop it in the chat. Don’t be shy. You’re the reason why we’re here. And we always want to make sure we get the most out of every guest by knowing what questions you have to ask. So don’t be shy about using the chat and asking your questions. Monica, let’s start with the foundation. You say when people go from overlooked to unforgettable through storytelling, I think that’s such a powerful statement.
Amy Vaughan:
Statement. What made you realize that storytelling could be a powerful sales tool?
Monica Miller:
Yeah, when I was a little girl, I used to just tell stories that you can never get a yes or no out of me. You still can’t. You know, anyone who knows me, they know I’m gonna talk, I’m gonna share. Like there’s the story and that drives my dad and it has driven some other people crazy. But I’m not saying that’s who I am. I don’t know, I don’t know what you want me to do. I’m not going to, I’m not going to do it. You know, I’m not going to say yes or no.
Monica Miller:
I have to tell you the story anyways. So. You know, I’ve always been a national storyteller. Like I’ve written books. I am watching a fantasy series if it ever gets done. I mean I’m so creative and I love the art of storytelling. And I realized that I was sharing my story online. I was sharing nuggets of wisdom that I have been learning and I’ve been applying but was getting the head claps and oh, you’re so inspirational.
Monica Miller:
But no clients, I am missing something here. Like there’s something that needs to be. Like something’s not. I’m just missing something. So yeah, I took a storytelling sprint. So for 30 days I had a coach give all of us who were going through it 30 different ideas, storytelling ideas to play with. And so every day we had to tell a story. And that helped me to close the gap of what was missing.
Monica Miller:
And it also helped me to see because I knew that my stories were important. I knew that my stories were viable. I knew that my stories connected. But the storytelling sprint that she helped us on launch pad me into connecting. Here’s my story, here’s my offer. Here’s how we could bridge it so that way we can start getting more conversions. And I’ve had clients become booked out just through one storytelling post. I’ve had clients when they utilize a storytelling formula or framework system, you know, they’ve been asked to speak on stages like the, like a satellite stage from the global, Global Leadership Summit.
Monica Miller:
So because they were using the storytelling framework. So I do feel that the need for people to connect is bigger now that AI is coming out. And although AI is great, not saying it isn’t, I’m also seeing that there are people who want to know I’m dealing with a real human being. It’s not just some robot talking about whatever, like a made up story. Like I actually can connect on an emotional level, on a level that is deeper than what AI can go. And that’s why that’s why? I really feel that storytelling is so powerful and that’s why I want to teach more and more people how to utilize it in their businesses.
Amy Vaughan:
I love it. Yeah. This just makes me so excited to follow all these follow up questions that we have for you because a lot of us sitting here and listening have compelling personal stories, but maybe we struggle to connect them to our business offerings because it feels personal. Right. And we’ve been conditioned to keep the personal and the professional very separate. And in some cases and instances, yes, that makes sense. But what are maybe some of the most common mistakes you see people make when they try to share their story? And like you said, you tell it, you get the hand claps, but then it kind of falls flat. There’s no action after.
Monica Miller:
Yeah. One of the things I see a lot of people make is one, there’s no good hook. We’re going to be talking about that in just a little bit, so stay tuned. But there’s no really good hook to reel the person in. I mean, yes, you don’t always have to have a quote unquote great hook because sometimes just sharing yourself, people feel the vulnerability, so they’re already attracted. However, having a great hook is always a great way to start any post that you’re writing. So that’s a mistake. I see.
Monica Miller:
And sometimes a lot of my clients. Okay, a lot of my clients are great writers already. It’s just sometimes the order could be reorganized a little bit better. So I had a client send me her work and I was like, hey, this information would be really good downhill or leave out that. Because it doesn’t really fit into this story. Because a lot of times we want to give it all, we want to share it all right? And it doesn’t work. It doesn’t fit. It doesn’t, you know, is it.
Monica Miller:
That’s great, but that’s such a minute detail that we sure like. That’s not the main point. Here is the main point and then the biggest one I see a lot is bridging your story to your offer and having a very clear call to action. That, yeah, once you do that, you have to have that strong call to action. So that way you’re already building that connection, you’re building that loyalty, that trust through your story. And then when you swish it to your offer, it just makes sense. And that’s practice. And some people get it right off the bat, while others, you know, it just takes time. And that’s okay because it’s a skill, skill set to learn. Grow in.
Amy Vaughan:
It’s a process too, right? It is to kind of go through and trust that process. So let’s dig into that, because I know, like, I mean, I’m on the edge of my seat to want to hear more about it, but you have your signature storytelling framework. I’d love for you to just walk a little bit. Walk us through maybe the essentials and those elements that turn stories, like you’re saying into ones that actually convert, whether that’s like, those repetitive or extraneous elements or in those call to actions like. Yeah, just lay it on us, Monica.
Monica Miller:
Okay, I will. All right. So the story storytelling framework is really just three simple steps, and I’ll go into them. So I’m going to go over them, then go into detail on them a little bit more. So the first step is setup. So you want to have the setup. And this is where you’re going to include that. That great hook.
Monica Miller:
What I always tell my clients is to start in the middle of the story. So don’t start at the beginning. Don’t be like, you know, the day I was driving and it hit me like. No, you could say, like, it hit me like a bullet hitting a windshield. And it stopped me in my tracks. I thought there was a collision that’s gonna cause a lot more like, oh, Monica’s getting, like, traumatic. And that’s like, what was. What was her fault that made her almost get into an accident, right? So you can start in the middle of a story or, you know, something like that.
Monica Miller:
One thing I did once, one of the hooks I used was I. I had a conversation with a lady, and one of the things that she said to me was like, you’re not a writer, are you? And so I started the story with that. That was my hook. Because people who knew me, who followed me, knew I was a great writer. So having that as a hook, kind of like what. Someone said that to you, Monica? And then I went into my story, and this is where you’re going to start setting up the story, setting up that point that you really want to make. And then you’re going to do the second step, and that is confrontation. So you’re no longer going to talk about you, because the setup is kind of like, about you.
Monica Miller:
Now we’re doing the confrontation, and that’s now flipping the script to your audience. And this is where you’re going to start teaching your audience, like, maybe you’re busting a myth. Maybe you’re giving them a different perspective that they never thought about. Or maybe you’re reminding them of their desires. So you’re going to flip the script, remember your story, and whenever you flip the script should make sense. Going back to that example I was sharing, how this one lady asked me, you’re not a writer, are you? And then she was like, oh, well, you know, marketing copy is different. And I went into like, hey, you know what? She’s right. Marketing copy is different.
Monica Miller:
And if you’ve been struggling with, you know, writing copy and you’re not getting conversions, listen to the end. And I did some. I did a little bit of education about this marketing copy. And this is probably what you’re doing. You’re just writing to write. Here’s what a marketing copy looks like. And then I went into the resolution. That’s the third step.
Monica Miller:
The resolution is, of course, you’re awful. Because by that time, people like, yeah, like, I am watching a lot of content and it’s not converting. So the resolution was, hey, I still got spots for my done for you content services. You want one? You know, less? You know, hit me up in comments or, you know, DM me. I mean, it’s a little bit more detailed, of course, in that resolution. But the resolution was, if you don’t want to do this yourself, I can take you over. So that all flowed from, oh, you’re not a. You’re not a writer, are you? To, oh, hey, aren’t you watching? Content is not converted.
Monica Miller:
Well, hey, I got a service just for you. And that was. And from there, I got some leads to build my business.
Amy Vaughan:
That’s amazing. Such a great story. And I love how you paired it all the way through. Not just with the steps and the framework, but the example and working through it. That gives me so many ideas. And I can just see our listeners, like, writing all this down right now. And if you’re driving, don’t try to write it down. Just come back and.
Amy Vaughan:
And play the episode again.
Monica Miller:
Right.
Amy Vaughan:
But that’s such a fantastic framework. And, you know, it’s like a common journalism cliche, right? Don’t bury the lead. You know, so putting that tension up front and first and then connecting it to the audience makes so much sense. And what I love about your example in particular, Monica, is you got vulnerable. Like, a lot of people wouldn’t want to talk or say, like, yeah, somebody looked at me and said, you’re not a writer, are you? When that’s literally everything that I am, not even just my job, but really a part of who I am. So I think opening up with that vulnerability was tremendous as well. So I love, love, love it. That’s so fantastic.
Amy Vaughan:
All right, let’s dig into this a little bit more then. And you talk a little bit about the three nos. K, N O W s for our listeners. Three nos. What are those and why are they critical to making your story sell rather than just kind of incentivizing?
Monica Miller:
Yes. So the three no’s know your audience. So we want to have a. I know this is very fundamental. So foundational. But it’s so key. Knowing who your audience is is going to give you the empowerment to know which stories your audience needs to hear. Because if you tell a story that your audience can’t relate to, it won’t make sense unless you just want to share it because you’re funny or you’re amazing or whatever.
Monica Miller:
You know, you can share stories that are not related to your business, but if you want to get more sales, know your audience. The second one is to know their struggle and or desires. Have a handle on what it is that keeps them, keeps them up at night. What is it that keeps them, you know, is on a loop. What happens, like what makes them go spiraling. Right. And then also know the desires. What is what? What’s the thing that they wake up and this is why they do what they do every single day.
Monica Miller:
What is that desire? Where do they want to be in a year, two years, three years, five years? Right? Know both because, well, you know that you have your desires, but yet you have your struggles right now and you want to get to the desires. So know your audience’s desires and family. The last no is knowing the solution. Of course your offer is the solution. Know exactly how you can talk about your offer clearly. Know how your offer can solve your audience’s unique pain and desire. Like, you know, it helps solve the pain so they can get to their desire, whatever that desire is. And it could be a short term desire or it could be a long term desire.
Monica Miller:
It could be whatever your offer is providing at that moment. And, and whenever. This is what I say. Whenever you know these three nos and start speaking to them, you will get more yeses.
Amy Vaughan:
Oh, I love it. Oh, that’s so good. You are such a good writer. You’re very clever. I love it. I like writing right in my, my, my alley, speaking my language. All right, so a lot of our listeners are working in marketing spaces, digital spaces, content creators, business owners. Shout out to Nell.
Amy Vaughan:
Thanks for dropping in the comments. She said she already has her notebook out and she’s taking notes, which is awesome. Not at all surprising. So, you know, in that sometimes it’s hard, and I kind of alluded to this earlier, how do you know how much or which personal stories are worth sharing versus what should stay private?
Monica Miller:
Yeah, I get this question a lot and I feel that there’s not an easy answer to this because every one of us are different. What I may be open to sharing, Amy, you may be like, oh, I’m not sure that because you’re different people and what you’re open to sharing, I might be like, oh, I’m not sure. So we have to choose and decide which stories we feel we can share. And you know, one we have to remember because we are business owners, we are out there, we want to maintain authority. So we don’t want to decrease our authority. So we make sure, we want to make sure that we keep that authority, but yet build that authenticity and that connection. So how you do this, it goes back to really going inside of you and understanding what the story does. Do you feel called to share stories you don’t want?
Monica Miller:
You don’t feel called to share? Because like you said, there are stories. I have stories upon stories, but not all of them are meant for now and not all of them will ever be meant to share because it’s like a story maybe between me and someone else. So I’m going to keep that story maybe more in my heart than out there. So you really have to find it. I feel like this is not an easy answer, but go inside, go back inside and feel your body while you’re sharing your story. If you’re feeling excited and clever and like, oh, this is juicy, you know, it’s a good story. If you have feelings of apprehension and like, maybe it’s not the right time. And one of the things I did create was a storytelling journal.
Monica Miller:
And I put all these storytelling prompts in there. So that way you can not only share in a safe space, but then to identify, is this a story I want to share? Is this a story I’m willing to put out there? You know, how does it make me feel? And so that’s, that can be a really great resource for those who are practicing acknowledging what’s going on our bodies as they write, as well as maybe having that better understanding of where is your personal line? Because we’re all going to have it and sometimes we may, we may over share and that’s okay. We’re human beings and just look from that and understand what it was. What was the line that I crossed? Okay, how can I put that, you know, maybe in a boundary for myself, so I can still be seen as authority, but still be authentic and be me at the end of the day. Hey, Amy, I can’t heal you. It could have been my end.
Amy Vaughan:
Okay, hold on. Going weird.
Monica Miller:
Okay, I can hear you now.
Amy Vaughan:
Thanks, Isabelle. Hold on, There we go.
Monica Miller: Yeah.
Amy Vaughan: Am I better now?
Monica Miller: Now?
Amy Vaughan: Okay.
Monica Miller: Yes, yes. No, weird.
Amy Vaughan: All right, Matt, it’s telling me to hold down the space bar to stay off of mute. And I can’t see the mic, like, button on mute. And I can’t hear anybody now, which is great. So can you use the chat?
Monica Miller: Can you hear me?
Amy Vaughan: No, I can’t hear you, Monica.
Monica Miller: Oh, no.
Amy Vaughan: I can see your lips. Mo. This is the first.
Monica Miller: Technology.
Amy Vaughan: What it might do.
Monica Miller: I can hear you now.
Amy Vaughan: Is that better?
Monica Miller: I can hear you.
Amy Vaughan: You can hear me. But now I can’t hear you. Why? Why? Why?
Monica Miller: Thanks, everyone, for your patience.
Amy Vaughan: That’s so weird. Okay, hold on. Let me switch to. Sure. See if that works. Says you can’t mute while recording, but you can’t switch mics. Oh, all right, let me change my speaker input. Monica, can you say something for me?
Monica Miller: Yeah, yeah. Can you hear me?
Amy Vaughan: I can hear you now. All right. Can you hear me?
Monica Miller: I can.
Amy Vaughan: Okay, yeah, sorry, Matt. I’m off my mic, though, because I don’t know how else to resolve it since it kept toggling off. All right, well, since you guys can hear me, let me check our audience. Thank you, audience too. This is why a live listening audience is helpful. Somebody’s like, hey, yo, Amy, you’re on mute. I was like, oh, yeah. Because here’s the thing.
Amy Vaughan: I was taking so many notes. Monica. I don’t normally mute that much during an episode. I will usually leave, and I don’t want people to hear my typing. But to pick back up where we left off, I was saying, I think you’re. Your answer was 100% accurate and clear. It was a definitive answer. And the fact that the answer’s within you, and it’s really about that balance and that tension of your authenticity and your authority, like, trying to kind of keep those in balance.
Amy Vaughan: And then I love the idea of, like, listening to your body, listening to your gut. We talk a lot about that in episodes past and how, especially as women, that’s kind of our superpower. But we discount it so much because it doesn’t feel like what the world tells us, which is logic, logic, logic, and not body sensations, which is informing us so much that we kind of ignore it. So I love that answer.
Monica Miller: Yeah, yeah. That’s something I’ve discovered. And, you know, I have to tell my clients, I’m like, I can’t answer that because you have to go back to you and what feels good to you, and that’s going to be different for everybody.
Amy Vaughan: And do you find as well that, like, I mean, that telling that first story is always scary, but I also think the input you receive after, like you said, it’s like you’re. You are either going to break through and find your audience and get them to convert by doing this, or you’re going to learn something. And if you kind of look at it as that, that’s when, like, the bravery comes. It comes after the action. Right. Not before it. It’s going to be scary to tell the story and do the vulnerable thing. But when you see the positive outcome, to me, at least in my experience, that is.
Amy Vaughan: That is easily reinforced by my desire to be more open and vulnerable about a lot of things in years past that I never would have considered because you constantly get that positive feedback. So it just becomes easier over time. So just understand the listeners. Like, it’ll be hard the first time, you know, and then next time it’ll be a little easier each time. Right. Do you feel the same?
Monica Miller: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, 100%. I mean, because doing something for the first time, you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re winging it, and it’s the first time. And sometimes, like, you land and sometimes you may not, and that’s okay.
Amy Vaughan: And I mean, what we’re talking about here too, I mean, outside of just the fear, is like that tension between being authentic and being strategic. So, you know, how do you help people find that balance where their story feels genuine, answers their business goals? Because I think that’s another kind of area that can feel a little tricky and gray sometimes.
Monica Miller: Yeah, Yeah. I would say go back to your three no’s. Go back to that, you know, because there is a place for you. For being strategic. Okay? There is. There is. You need strategy and logic. Because there’s people who need that.
Monica Miller: Okay. And there’s going to be people who need the emotional and that they need to feel warm and good and fuzzy on the inside. I’m kind of one of those people, like, I’m also strategic, but also want to feel good on the inside. I want to know. I want to feel like I know you. Like, that’s the bottom line. I want to feel like I know you before I hire you. That’s just me.
Monica Miller: But there’s some other people who are very logical. And if you explain, like, we’re gonna do this, A, B and C, they’re there. So this is where I would say, go back to your three no’s. Know your audience, know the struggle and desires and know the solution and pull out some stories from, you know, all three of them. Doing your strategic marketing, you know, content marketing plan that you have. And then, yeah, so we’re going to be doing a mix. So I said, do a good mix. So you’re answering the logical person, the rational person, the realist, and you’re answering and talking to the people who need that good, warm, fuzzy feeling from you.
Monica Miller: So having that mix is going to be really good for you and your marketing. So, yeah, maybe like, you could pick days where you share more that emotional connection, those stories, and maybe some days where you’re just doing more logic. Or you could do every other post. I mean, because I do posts for the logical people, but I also do posts for the emotional people. So it has its place. It’s just, I would say, finding that balance. If you’re finding that, oh, I’m getting too logical, throw a story or two in there. If you’re doing our stories and, you know, you need some logic, do a logic, you know, more that logical strategic post.
Monica Miller: Just keep it balanced. It can be hard, but that’s why it’s really good to have some type of content plan to know and see the balance of it all. I’m just a visual person too, so having that can help. Like, okay, this is. I’m doing too much of this. Let me go back to this, you know, whatever kind of post I need to be doing.
Amy Vaughan: Absolutely, absolutely. Fantastic advice. Let’s keep on this strategy train because we love good strategy. You work with speakers and podcasters and social media creators who are working on a multitude of platforms. Does your storytelling approach change depending on the platform or are there some core principles that are universal that go across the board?
Monica Miller: Yeah, you know, we know I’m doing a podcast like this. It’s so much easier to get authentic and share and it’s also easier to get into the strategy. Right. I don’t really. I may not be doing a lot of storytelling per se in the storytelling framework in my podcast because I just share a lot of stories anyways.
Amy Vaughan: Yeah.
Monica Miller: And one thing that I know I aim for is now whenever I’m sharing stories, but maybe not then. But I will be sharing, like, some outcomes, like about my clients, you know, what they did and their outcomes or how I discovered how to be strategic versus, you know, get into that emotional side in my own content marketing. So it does play a different role when you’re speaking versus when you’re writing. So I do feel that there was a difference.
Amy Vaughan: Yeah.
Monica Miller: The main takeaway is that I want every one of you to hear, to find ways to be you, to share stories, whether that’s about you or your clients, and then always find a way to turn it back to a result that they experience you experience maybe what the podcast host is asking you and. And also letting people know about some of the offers you do. You can say in, like, really easy ways. Like, you know, the storytelling journal I was talking about with an easy way I could talk? I just slid that in. I’m not promoting it. I’m just saying you could use it if you wanted to. So you can always tie in all three of the storytelling framework or formulas into your talk. It doesn’t have to look perfect, but you could tie it all in.
Monica Miller: It should always be a red thread through everything you’re saying. That’s the same way with the storytelling post, is you want to have that red thread tying everything together. Nice little bow.
Amy Vaughan: Yeah.
Monica Miller: It’s the same way you should be on a podcast or speaking or doing a workshop, wherever you are at using your voice in any capacity.
Amy Vaughan: And that’s so. That’s so important. It’s something small that I don’t think we always acknowledge and realize. But look at every great author, speaker, coach that you’ve ever seen out there. Like, they. There’s consistency. What you’re talking about there, Monica, is consistency in the story that you’re telling, because that is what builds credibility, authority, and trust. And I think sometimes we forget that it needs to be there.
Amy Vaughan: And sometimes it evolves, you know, organically, sometimes it evolves intentionally. But either way, like you, I think finding that and having that thread throughout, that’s so important. So great, great advice, Monica. I love it. My next question, you know, I’m going to actually build on it a little bit. It was initially if, like, what if I don’t have a dramatic story to tell? What if I don’t have a big, transformative story to tell? I will also add to this for some of our listeners that I know are here and listening with us now. What if I don’t feel like I’m a good storyteller? So it’s not even that I don’t have a good story to tell, but I don’t feel like I’m a great Storyteller, do you. Do we need to have a big transformation to tell a good story? Do we have to be a good storyteller to tell a good story?
Monica Miller: No, I’ve never seen a bad storyteller. Once again, it’s a practice. Some of us are naturally good at it. Some of us need that practice. And that’s okay. It’s okay. And you don’t need a big transformation. You know, a lot of people assume, oh, I need to have this wax for wishes, and I don’t have that story.
Monica Miller: I came from a middle class family and, you know, we never went for, not for anything. And, you know, I mean, I don’t know, like, we didn’t have that. And. And then I started my business, so there was none of this, like, rags or whistles. I feel like I don’t have this big transformation or I was, you know, living on my last dollar. You know, you hear the story.
Amy Vaughan: Yeah.
Monica Miller: But one of the most powerful things that I know has transformed a lot of people’s lives in my audience and who have been like, Monica is that story that has helped me to be like, I need you, like, I need your services. Like, that’s poured them in whenever I share the minor ships, because our lives are made and defined by minor ships. Sometimes they’re negative, sometimes they’re positive.
Amy Vaughan: Oh, my God.
Monica Miller: And a lot of people are stuck on minor ships. But if you can show them, like that minor ship, like, you know, one day, like, for example, whenever I was pregnant with my youngest son, Corbin, I was past 40 weeks, and you’re pregnant, you know, going past 40 weeks, you’re just ready. You’re just ready. You’re like, get. Get this baby out of me. And I woke up one morning and I just said, I’m going to have him in the next 24 hours. So I acted as if he was coming for the next 24 hours. I decided just to be like, I’m not, You know, even if he doesn’t come, it’s okay.
Monica Miller: I’ll still be pregnant. It’ll be fine. I’m just gonna go out like that. So. And then of course, I had them the next day. That’s not like, that’s not a big transformation. It’s not really even a big thing, but it’s a shift I made. And I could tie that easily into your mindset shifts for your content or your stories, like how to shift that into, oh, it’s not this big transformation, but you don’t need one to shift someone’s perspective.
Amy Vaughan: Oh, my gosh.
Monica Miller: More than likely, our perspectives are not going to change, like, dramatically because of what one person said. Our perspective is going to shift, like, 1% at a time.
Amy Vaughan: Right? It is.
Monica Miller: So just focus on the lessons, the shifts, the. The micro moments, the decisions you made, because those, to me, are more powerful than those wagon wishes stories. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that. Share that.
Amy Vaughan: We love a good story.
Monica Miller: Yeah, share it. But in. But. But share yours. Those ships, too.
Amy Vaughan: This is such a great piece of advice, Monica, because I think that the small moments can have such significance, and again, we diminish and downplay them. But they are so relatable. Right? Because of the big moments, we can’t all say rags to riches. Right? Because I. Middle class to riches. We could say, you can’t say rich to riches. But, like, there’s. There’s something really magical in those small moments and small instances.
Amy Vaughan: And like you said, it kind of makes me realize now, looking back, I think we’re coming close to like 200 episodes of this podcast. And, you know, one of the questions that I kind of routinely go to is, like, what was that pivotal moment when. And it always kind of rubbed me the wrong way. So I don’t know why. As I started taking it out, actually, it would always bother me, and it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. And I think because that’s. Because subconsciously, I always knew that for everybody’s story, it was not. There was.
Amy Vaughan: There might have been a moment, but for the majority of us that have made powerful shifts in our lives, in our careers, it was a number of tiny little moments that made us wake up and realize, so maybe the moment you woke up, it wasn’t anything major. It was actually just a culmination of all these small moments coming together to bring something to light. Oh, so good. So good. Oh, my gosh. And then, yeah, Danelle recommends to anybody who loves listening to storytellers who are bad storytellers, the Moth Radio Hour. It’s a good one to listen to. And they think they’re all bad.
Amy Vaughan: And she says none of them are bad, so I’m going to have to check that out, too. So. Thanks, Danelle.
Monica Miller: Yeah, yeah, I remember. It’s just practice. It’s just. It’s a skill. Like, just skill. And you have to practice and, you know, stop at the. You know, one of the challenges I would challenge all the listeners is to stop practicing. How can you pull a story from your day and just share it? And not only that, but could you tie it back into your business? Because that’s good practice.
Amy Vaughan: Right on.
Monica Miller: Like storytelling and beginning to see what works, what doesn’t, what resonates, what doesn’t. But it gives you that comp. It builds a confidence to start saying, like, oh, I can actually share this story really well. Like, I mean, every day I go through, you know, and I see stories everywhere and I could tie that back into my business, but that’s because I’ve been doing it for years, you know, pretty much all my life. So just stop practicing that way because it’s going to build confidence. I would even write in a journal first to get the noise out.
Amy Vaughan: Yeah, no, that was my next question. Yeah, that’s my next question. If someone listening today wants to start implementing the framework, what is that first step they should take to identify the most powerful story? So journaling sounds like definitely one of them. Would you add anything else to that?
Monica Miller: Yeah, I will. Love, like, for those of you who are like, yes, like, I want to start storytelling, I got stories galore. Here is what I want you to do, because I know you can get overwhelmed with all the stories that you can share. I want you to go about two or three no’s. Know your audience, know the pain and struggle and desire, and then know the solution. What I would love for you to do is go to each one and identify at least three stories in each one. That would give you nine stories to pull from. So really begin with the.
Monica Miller: Know your audience. Think about, well, what are the three things my audience needs to hear right now? You know, where are they at? Where do they want to go? What is it that they are dreaming of? Or maybe they’ll know what you know, so know your audience. Like, if you’re pulling out, they are these types of people. What is their day to day? The second one is knowing the struggle. You know, get to, you know, find two stories on their struggle, their struggle was probably your struggle. And then pull out one story about a desire they have. And it could be a desire that you have achieved. Even if you’re like, I’m still not there yet, you’re still somewhere that somebody wants to be at.
Monica Miller: They wish they could be where you’re at. So don’t take that for granted. And you can share some shifts or some lessons you had to learn or whatever it could be. And of course know the solution. These are where you’re going to start talking about how you came up with your offer, why you came up with your offer. It could be case studies, testimonials, walking people through when Susie came to me, she was like this, go back to knowing your audience. And when we began working together, she, you know, accomplished this and then went to the confrontation and then of course, the resolution, right, of hey, this is my offer, like, come work with me if you want these same results. So start there.
Monica Miller: And then I would say, like, you know, then there’s gonna be you writing them and posting them, right? And it’s gonna be the implementation that you have to begin doing.
Amy Vaughan: Love it. That is so fantastic. I don’t know about you all, but I’m excited to get some time, maybe later this afternoon to put this to the test. I love it. All right, looking ahead, you know, I think in an era where, like you were saying, where AI is very prevalent, where personal branding, Gosh, I love my son. Oh no, I wasn’t. It wasn’t my last episode. I guessed it on a show earlier this week.
Amy Vaughan: And the group that I was interviewing with, they do personal branding. And I finally just opened my mouth about it and said, you know, I have nothing against folks who do personal branding. I have a problem with the word personal branding because it feels inauthentic, it feels contrived. It feels like I am putting on the mask of what I want everybody to see and perceive of me versus me just being authentically me consistently and building and creating my so-called brand. It’s probably the word brand that gets me. It’s like I have my own personal brand guidelines. Is there like a font that I always show up in? No. Like I am a human.
Amy Vaughan: Right. So yeah, there was something interesting in that too. So in a world where there’s like influencers and facades and celebrity and brands and AI, like, where do you start? Are you? How do you see the role of this more personal storytelling, which maybe that’s the word. We replace personal branding with personal storytelling. Where do you see that heading in the next few years?
Monica Miller: I’m seeing, I’m seeing it becoming bigger because like we were just talking about AI influencers. All these people who, like you’re saying, like putting on a facade and I feel like it’s somewhere in the back of our brains we’re saying, you know, that’s fake or that feels fake or that doesn’t feel genuine, like they’re not sharing like the why, they’re not sure how they got there. They’re just popping out and being like, I’m famous. And yeah, we all know, we all know that when you become famous, that’s 10 years of blood, sweat and tears, right? No, One’s carrying about that. And then, you know, I’ve been duped in. In that. Like, you know, I got caught up in that, you know. Oh, well, if I just do it their way, then I wish to see too, without thinking about my energy.
Amy Vaughan: Yep.
Monica Miller: Who I am as a person. Any of that. You know, like, I think we all have been there.
Amy Vaughan: Yeah.
Monica Miller: I see storytelling as becoming more and more popular. I guess popular is a key word because we’re always going to have those who are more intuitive and they are going. They already are. Like, I follow some people who know, like, this is AI and this is not. And they will always choose the human above someone who uses AI. Not to say AI. Like, like I said, it’s not bad. No, it’s just finding a good balance is what I’m saying.
Monica Miller: You know, it’s okay to use AI, but don’t allow it to overtake your voice because your voice has a unique sound to it, a unique flow to it. The more you write, the better you get at it. That’s the bottom line. And storytelling is always, always is going to be a way to connect. I mean, you will never see commercials veer from a piece of storytelling. They will always be telling some form of story.
Amy Vaughan: Yeah.
Monica Miller: If they’re not veering off, why should you? And I know in the speaker world, more speaking coordinators are looking for speakers who can not only share a powerful story, but make people laugh and have a presence about them of not only that ease, but you can just feel them.
Amy Vaughan: Yeah.
Monica Miller: And I’ve been hearing that from a couple of, like, the speaking people that I have been working with. And I’m a part, you know, part of some groups and that’s the number one thing that they’ve been talking about. It’s just like they don’t want to feel like this is AI. They want to feel you.
Amy Vaughan: They do, they do. I love it. Yeah. People, we love to see other people in their element. Right. And like the vibe in their vibe and being themselves because it feels like permission for you to do the same. And it’s like you said earlier, it’s. It’s showing you and them that you are someone you are somewhere that somebody else wants to be at.
Amy Vaughan: By the way, you got, you got quoted in the chat with that exact thing right there because that was such a good reminder for those who are listening. And this is why we changed up some of the events we’ve done together digitally recently. We did this. I said what I said. Instead of putting a speaker in front of the room, with slides telling us how to, like, live our lives and create boundaries. This whole topic was not your superwoman. And we put people in groups of five, and then we asked them some very deep questions about where they are still being the yes girl and what boundaries have they recently created or they need to create to see a change, and then what does enough look like for them? And it was so cool to watch these women, like, dig in and share their experience and share their story, because, like you said, our lives are so multifaceted, and there’s so many layers of experience and life that are thrown in there that there’s never one person that has the authority. And the answer.
Amy Vaughan: What you only have is your own authority and your own answers. And really finding the ways in which you can show up and share that and tell those stories and be. What you’re saying, I think is relatable as well, is what makes you magnetic. Right. That’s what makes people want to hear more from you.
Monica Miller: Yeah. And remember, sharing yourself, sharing your story is healing, not only for you, but for your audience. Like, you know, people can find healing in your story and in themselves. And that’s, like, so powerful. You may not see. See it, but I’ve had, you know, one client come into mind, and, I mean, I could just. I see her growth because she keeps relating back to my stories, and she, you know, and because I’m sharing, it empowers her to share and empowers her to open up. She’s already a really authentic person, but it empowers her to open up even more in a way that her clients may not.
Monica Miller: May not see her. And so it’s. Healing is a healing bomb. That’s why there’s so many memoirs out there. Right. Remember that?
Amy Vaughan: And it’s not a selfish thing. I think that’s something else people worry about when they start to tell their stories is they’re like, oh, I’m just making it about me. No, like, you’re sharing your story and getting vulnerable to. To show others that they’re. You’re. They’re not alone. And that was the one thing that, like, I think got us all in. The feeling at the end of our last event was, you know, we said, what’s one thing we were taking away from tonight after the event and the conversation and the learning shared.
Amy Vaughan: And one of the women said, I’m not leaving alone.
Monica Miller: And I was like, oh, I love it.
Amy Vaughan: So, yeah.
Monica Miller: Oh, go ahead. I’m sorry, Amy.
Amy Vaughan: Oh, no, you got it. Go.
Monica Miller: Yeah. You could build such a community with your story. And I think we forget that because people, I mean, I have had people tell me like I, I wanted to work with you, but I didn’t know how until like I heard this story until you opened up this awful. And you share this part about yourself, you know, so just know that you’re creating a community with your story. People are going to identify you with your story and that’s just really cool. And like I said, you can feel free to just share your story just because you want to share your story. And you can always share your story to create more salads too, when you use a storytelling framework.
Amy Vaughan: Love it, love it, love it, love it. All right, live listening audience. I know you guys have been popping up today, so lots of good comments, lots of good conversation, but if you have questions, feel free to drop them in. Oh, here we go. Terry’s right on it. How do you get over the feeling that vulnerability feels like a sign of weakness, especially in a professional setting. Great question, Terry. Thank you.
Monica Miller: Wow, that’s a deep crushing, Terry. I think it will go. I feel like there’s different facets to answering this question. So I’m going to try, I’m going to do my best. If I was feeling like sharing myself is a sign of weakness and you know, in your head, oh, it’s not. But maybe your body is feeling it, I would recommend taking some time. I know I don’t always like doing this, but it’s so healing, taking some time for yourself and really identifying that moment where you are associated. Whenever I share my weakness.
Monica Miller: Yeah. Because that’s going to be the one place that you can start. You can identify where maybe that memory is and you can start healing it. And then once you start working on that piece, then it’s going to be, you know, you will never feel ready. Okay. You will never, ever feel ready. There’s a point where you will need to take that action. Scared you might be scared.
Monica Miller: And it’s okay. It’s okay. Yeah, you can do it in a safe area like I offer in my coaching programs that safe space to share first before you post it. Because sometimes we just need that. So when you’re ready to share now, you won’t be ready. When you know I need to share, then you can stop practicing. That shift of sharing my story is powerful and. But it can’t.
Monica Miller: I don’t know if it’s going to happen until you heal that memory and where it feels in your body. I would also suggest I love left. Tapping like that has been a big go for me.
Amy Vaughan: Go back and watch it. So crazy. I was really just literally thinking, oh, we should talk about left. Continue.
Monica Miller: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that’s so awesome. Yeah, I love that because it just helps move some of that muscle memory that you have. It helps move some of that energy. I’ve also found that sometimes my body needs more and so sometimes I like to shake. You know, since I have a three year old son, sometimes I just put on music and be like, let’s dance and shake. And here I am shaking. He’s just dancing.
Monica Miller: So we do that for a couple minutes. So take care of your body, your internal, you know, before you can go out and serve. Because we have to take care of ourselves before we are out there serving others. That’s probably my best answer. Of course.
Amy Vaughan: That’s great.
Monica Miller: If you want to dive deeper, we know we can always do that.
Amy Vaughan: That’s amazing, Monica. I love it. Yes. And I think you’re right. You have to rewrite the story. You had to find out where that source of that core truth came from and started like, take it apart brick by brick, piece by piece. Because I think at some point you’re going to start to realize that sharing is actually a sign of strength, not weakness.
Monica Miller: Oh, yeah, because you, you’re shifting your mind, right? You’re shifting that, the neural pathways and you’re creating like a new pathway and it takes time. It’s not going to be overnight, poof. I’m. No, no, it’s going to be little by little, but it’s going to be a lot of practice and getting out of that comfort zone. And I always say, heal that little. Heal that piece first before moving because that could set your nervous system aflame. And we don’t want that.
Amy Vaughan: No, no. That’s where the tapping is really brilliant. And I’m kidding you not, folks. It was literally last week’s episode.
Monica Miller: Oh, my gosh. I have to watch all the places.
Amy Vaughan: Where you listen to podcasts. It’s there. So, Terry, coming in with another hot and curious question. I love it. Terry, what percent of your clients are men? I don’t remember a man presenting and showing his vulnerability. Wonder what those stats are.
Monica Miller: That’s great. I never looked at the stats. I. I’m trying to think, like, I know that I have listened to men tell their stories. I think what I’ve seen, okay, like maybe Tony Robbins, he might. I don’t really follow him, but I feel like he would probably tell his story. I feel like a lot of men probably share in maybe smaller settings. Unless you’re Tony Robbins.
Monica Miller: Like, for example, I’m a part of a networking group and the guy who started the networking group tells his story in front of a smaller group. It’s the card of her university and it’s like a two day event for the network for the people who are in the networking group. And he tells it in that space and there was probably like you know, 50 people in that room. 40, 50 people in that room. And that’s the only place he shares his story. He doesn’t tell anyone online. He doesn’t share it at his conferences that he hosts like four times a year. You.
Monica Miller: So I wonder. There’s something there sometimes. Right. But yeah, so that is something that I would be interested to know. And I was like, I need to geek out on this and look up what’s the stats.
Amy Vaughan: Well, and if I had. So like, you know, just in general, humans are hard on other humans about vulnerability. And I think conditionally, as people who are conditioned to nurture women are allowing for and I think capable of more vulnerability just inherently on how we are conditioned socially, however.
Monica Miller: Yeah.
Amy Vaughan: What kind of world would we be living in right now if men did. If they were able to? And I think again, I think it comes back to a lot of social constructs and systems and conditioning, toxic masculinity. It just, it doesn’t allow for them to be open, honest and vulnerable because then they get seen as weak. We are emotional and they’re weak. They’re not man enough. They’re crying, boohoo, your baby, you’re a mama’s boy. There’s just so much behind all of that. Yeah.
Amy Vaughan: I feel like in a lot of ways, and I’m not pointing fingers or blaming at all. I’m, I’m trying to name the things that I think are holding men back from doing these things and having these breakthroughs. And I think as a whole, as a society, as humanity, like we all can benefit from more vulnerability. But you look at people who are at the front of shame and re. Shame and vulnerability research. Do we think of Brene Brown, a woman, you know, I would say another one who’s alongside her a lot. That’s a man that’s a great one to listen to is Adam Grant. He talks a lot about times when he’s really screwed up and made mistakes.
Amy Vaughan: And for the guys who are listening, I mean, recognize and realize those men who have been vulnerable and owned their stories and a lot of the ways in which you’re talking about here, Monica, have become extremely successful. I’m not saying that’s like your only motivation, but it actually is a tool in your tool belt to where you can stand out and you can be perceived as different and you can reach a broader audience because you’re not just strutting the strut, you’re actually like talking to men and women which at the end of the day, you know, that’s where I’d like us all to be able to get to at some point.
Monica Miller: Yeah, yeah. And Terri, I want to let you know that I don’t have any male clients yet. I would take on a man, male client, you know, if they’re the right fit. So just answer that question as if you’re listening.
Amy Vaughan: Find Monica. Monica, where can they reach you? Where’s a good place to connect with you if they’d like to connect with you and start something?
Monica Miller: Yeah, yeah, you can always connect with me on my website. Monica writes.com so writes as if you’re writing a book with the S writes Monica writes dot com. If you’re interested in setting up a time to just connect and see, we will be a good fit to work together. You can always get your own free 30 minute course call with me. I can put that in the chat if you want me to, however you want me to do that, Amy. And that’s Monica writes.com forward/calendar. I can type that in if you want me to. And so if that’s something you really want to do or if you want to email me, my email is monica@monica whites.com and you can find me on Facebook.
Monica Miller: But my Facebook name is Monica Lynn because I don’t know, it’s been Monica Lynn L Y N N forever. I get that. I get that. Yeah, yeah. I’m walking on getting onto LinkedIn. I just haven’t. I just need to just make that plunge into LinkedIn.
Amy Vaughan: Well here, how about this? So all of our podcast speaking guests get a three month membership to Together Digital after this claim that they do an onboarding with me. We have got so many members that are really good at helping you hone in on your LinkedIn presence that just know it and understand it inside and out. I would include myself in that. So always happy to do a one on one with you because you’ve showed up and given us so much today. We always want to give something in return to our speakers. But also this group and crew is just great for accountability because sometimes it’s like the I am a eat the frog mentality kind of gal. It sounds disgusting but it’s from a Mark Twain quote that says, the first thing you should do every morning is eat the frog. And it’s because you should always do the hardest thing first, because otherwise, if you’re like me, you just take.
Amy Vaughan: I check off everything on my list possible. I look so productive, but I didn’t do the one hard thing that I needed to do all damn day. So definitely check that out. Monica, I would love to introduce you to the broader community. You know, you’ve offered us so much here today, but again, it’s like that whole rule of reciprocity. Right? I really feel like our members would have a lot to offer and help you too, because I think LinkedIn is a perfect place for you. We need it. We need you on LinkedIn, Monica.
Amy Vaughan: This needs to happen. So we’ll work on that.
Monica Miller: Yes. Yes. I was like, I just. I work really well with accountability, so I’m just like, I just need somebody to hold me. Like, hold my feet to the fire. And that’s what I do with my clients. I was like, I need someone to do it for me.
Amy Vaughan: Right. You know what? We got to check on our strong friends too. Right? Awesome. Oh, my gosh, this was so amazing, Monica. So many just, like, awesome nuggets in this conversation today. Really, really helpful, really insightful, you know, really actionable, which is always something we love on this podcast, is having actionable steps, things that we can walk away with, go into the weekend, hopefully carve a little time out for ourselves and just really spend some time just sitting in what you’ve given us today. Because I think it can really do some great things for some of our listeners, whether it’s their business or their professional career or their personal life. So everybody who’s listening, remember the podcast Power Lounge.
Amy Vaughan: Recording is available on YouTube. It’ll be streaming wherever you get your podcast. If you found value in today’s conversation and you’re not yet a member of Together Digital, I totally invite you to check it out. Join. We have over 48 virtual events a year, 12 expert master classes, peer groups, an online community that’s super supportive and amazing. We are not meant to do it all. We are not meant to do it all a lot alone. So do yourself a favor and just stop and really find a space that works for you and that wants to work with you.
Amy Vaughan: Monica dropped and shared all of her information as well. She dropped her calendar into the chat. We will include that in the show notes. Please reach out to her and let her know if you want to talk more. Monica, again, thank you so much for all of your wisdom and generosity today. It has been super awesome talking to you. Thank you again for being here.
Monica Miller: Yeah, you’re welcome. You’re welcome. I was just letting people know in the chat that if you want to email me, email me your story. Let me look at it. Yeah, do that. That is a great thank you for having me.
Amy Vaughan: Oh, our pleasure. Our pleasure. Well, on that note, we’ll wrap it up until next time, everyone. Please keep asking and keep giving and keep growing. We hope to see you next time. Bye, everybody.
