Like so many of you, in the last few weeks, there have been moments that my mind cannot comprehend. Where my heart shatters into a million pieces with just one headline. And yet, for every time it has shattered, whenever I hear a kind word, see a kind act, or take a hard lesson to heart I can feel it being rebuilt –– more elastic than before. As if the new blows are simply cushioned by the fact that life will find a way (and new ways) to carry on.
This is resilience. Breaking and then rebuilding. And then breaking again.
As we all work to become more resilient –– I begin to wonder what that looks like. And what I’ve learned from my amazing community at Together Digital is that it starts within us.
Resilience does not just happen. Resilience is a choice.
Here are 8 steps to help you walk toward resilience.
1 – Acknowledge and accept change.
I used to think change was a welcome thing. Until it wasn’t.
As a working mom, I thrive on productivity and compartmentalization. However, in this new world we are in for the time being has changed all of that. Home is work, work is home, school is home, home is school. Albeit not forever, it sure as hell feels like it sometimes.
But we must first accept it. Might as well open the door and welcome it in.
2 – Learn, and then learn some more.
One thing I’ve struggled with is my old-ways mindset. The older I get, the more I like predictability.
But when things are changing constantly, I’ve had to re-look at and learn new ways to do the old things I used to do. New skill sets are allowing me to adopt to new ways of seeing and doing things.
3 – Empower yourself.
The first two points actually go a long way in helping with this.
Our Together Digital community has been FULL of new learning opportunities via Virtual Events and Virtual Peer Circles.
Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed or alone, I can hop onto a Zoom call and connect with women from around the country who are facing the same challenges.
We empower each other, we empower ourselves every time we come together.
4 – Find your purpose.
When your mind says it’s easier just to stay in bed –– the thing that gets you back up again is your purpose.
What is your WHY?
5 – Find you.
When home is work and work is home, it’s hard to separate you from your work.
Repeat after me: you are not your job.
Now’s a great time to reconnect with who you are.
- revisiting old photos,
- talking to old friends, and
- dreaming up new ideas
are some ways I like to reconnect with who I am.
6 – Cultivate relationships.
I said it.
Yes, even in a time of isolation. There’s never been a more important time for community, connection, and friendship.
I am thankful EVERY DAY for the amazing tribe of women that support and love me.
7 – Reflect.
Give yourself time, space, and grace.
Look back on each day and acknowledge what went right, what went wrong, and what can be better tomorrow.
8 – Reframe your story.
So many of us (myself included) have an unedited and sometimes jaded version of our own success.
Go ahead. Be the hero of your own story.
After all, it is YOUR STORY.
What you make it, is what it will be. Whether you are struggling with job loss, marital issues, friends or family lost to this virus that has disrupted all of our lives.
Tell yourself, YOU are a fighter. YOU are a survivor. YOU are a resilient, magnificent woman who can and will overcome.
Because you have community, you have wisdom, and most importantly –– you have yourself.
If you are looking for community, obviously I cannot recommend one any higher than Together Digital.
It is a group of real women who are willing and able to support one another through vulnerable asks and generous gives that make each passing week doable, not just for me but for thousands of others.